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You know all those annoying people who talk into their cell phones as if you weren't standing right next to them? It turns out that many of them aren't really talking to anybody. Resource from The New York Times recently described research at Rutgers University as well as the Ethics and Public Policy Center that found that a great number of cell phone users are faking it.

A number of people make fake phone calls on their cell phones just for the benefit of those around them.

When A is late for work, while walking into office towards his cubicle. Pretending to be talking to an important client,

A: Hello! Yes Mr Yamamoto suzuki kawasaki..Iv reach my office already, I'll get back to u as soon as I read your fax.

Others pretend they get a call when they don't want to talk to someone who's standing right in front of them.

B: (saw C the ass kisser walking toward him)*reach in pocket and take out cellphone*, Oh hello Jim *cover reciever* sorry C I'll talk to u later.. Yes Jim, you were saying..blablabla

Not surprisingly, some of those big deals you hear people negotiate on the phone are just done to impress those within earshot.

C: What now Murcel?..Oh really?! Thats great, so when do we meet Mr Trumph for the Signing ceremony?..

Men will pretend to be on a call as they walk over to hit on a woman.

GUY: Do i have to make all the decision myself, Mark? So why do i hire you for? Im having my half year holiday now and i think i can trust you with my things?
GUY: Hello baby, whats your name? *points at phone* good assistants are hard to find nowdays..pft..

Women will pretend to be on a call to avoid getting hit on by men.

GIRL: *talk on phone* Yes honey, will be back in a while, oh yah, i left some patpoh herbal tea in the fridge for you, you know you always work midnight shift, just heat it in the microwave ok? pls do drink ok? Its also good for the shotgun wound from the terorrist you caught last week...

It stinks ok!! It was bad enough when I thought people were being rude, talking loudly about their personal lives to someone while looking right at me. Now I find out that they're being rude and not even talking to anybody! Until now, whenever I've seen crazy drivers on the phone swerve all over the road or come to an inexplicable stop, I've always felt they were just making a call that could probably wait until the drive was over.
I'd pull up next to them and give them the traditional shake of the head and dirty look. They're not putting our lives in danger because they're ordering a pizza delivered to their house. They're doing it because they want us to notice their new Defi Tachometer on their dashboard or New SE Z1010.

We're all probably pretty understanding when someone we're sharing an elevator with is talking baby talk into his cell phone, ending with, "Daddy will be home soon." But now that we know that "Daddy" might not even have a kid, and might be talking to the weather forecast, we may not be so forgiving next time.
And that's a problem, because next time, "Daddy" might be real, and I don't want to tell some guy to get off the phone because he's faking it only to learn that he's really talking to his sick kid. So, these fakers have the potential to make the rest of us the bad guys.

The only way to deal with this is to fight faking with faking.
When you're waiting to get off a plane and the guy next to you makes that call
GUY: We're just pulling into the gate, and I'll call you from the baggage.

You can top it with,
Me:"This is the last time I fly commercial. I'll meet you at the helicopter."

When that obnoxious businessman shouts into his phone, declaring he's about to make a fortune because he was clever enough to buy NIKKEI at 226, you can always talk into yours and say, "What's that? NIKKEI is down to 215½? Well, at least I sold in time."

And maybe we'll be tempted to resort to the ultimate defensive tactic. When we're surrounded by callers talking away on their electronic pals, we can always take out our cellular and say, "I understand, Dr.Liew. I know my SARS is contagious *coughCough*, Im on my way to GH now. Thank you for your concern."

Maybe that will at least give us a few minutes of silence.


  1. Blogger crazycat | Saturday, April 23, 2005 9:05:00 pm |  

    funny...never thot they might be faking it.. hehe

  2. Blogger Kenny | Sunday, April 24, 2005 10:39:00 am |  

    cat: they dooooooooooooooooooo *nodheadfuriouslytillgetmigrane*...

  3. Blogger crazycat | Sunday, April 24, 2005 10:05:00 pm |  

    maybe i shd try faking back too.. haha

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