AE92/Shits/Damai

My dad is stingy..........
I was discussing with my father about a new alarm system for my car to replace the old 1..

Me: Tailou(tats how i call him usually), I saw a alarm kit at xxx shop, got immobilizer 1...so cheap u know, only 300RM..

Dad: Wad for u get a alarm..u see ur shock and ur tire? already nid 2 change already..and u see ur reverse sensor oso rosak..u tink they want 2 steal ur car?..steal ur car oso nid 2 repair, wad for steal?

Me: ....

Mom: alah alah, kny go mami car take the steering lock and use it for the meantime.

Me: .....
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My brother is so disgustingly bored,noshit,so bored he even affect me..he asked me,

Di: Kny ah , u say if we were stranded in a abandon island, i think i can survive wad. U see ah..whn i shit i can eat my shit and shit again and eat it up again and shit ...and same goes with my pee, drink and pee n drink n pee again, u noe..

Me: no lah dammit u think u can eat how many time this shit b4 the nutrition of it run out and eventually u die of antibiotic failure?..

Di: oh ya hoh...
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Im goin damai for the coming holiday, USH!

Me: eH al, u think wad kinda food we must bring to Damai hah?...

Al: eH kwenie(female frend), kny ask u to remember to buy enough food for Damai ah...

Kwenie: Hanlah , got beer and hungkee liaw still nid wad food?

Al: fuiyoh...terror...see u usually kuai kuai , talk so ganas ..

Kwenie: aiyah..normally at home knot like tat mah..now go damai of coz wan af fun lah..

Al: den u bring ur bikini oso ok ?

Kwenie: wear oso for kny mah ..hoh kny?

Me: wtf?!....

Im not trying 2 b funny ok ..so dont bother thinking the joke i tell is not funny...it aint jokes..its jes how all the conversation goes..